As soon as I place my credit card into a cash machine I am confronted by three young ruffians. The one on my right confuses me by pressing buttons at random. The one behind heckles me, while the one on my left waits until I remove my card, then pounces. I manage to scramble my card back just as the third ruffian is replaced by an evil blue, smooth tennis ball. The ball bounces away. I give chase.

I find myself in Asda supermarket in the fruit isle. I grab the tennis ball and slice it into three pieces of wood - all of which are much larger than the ball. I place them in a trolley and walk off.

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